Random Speak II...

21st September, 2007

It is time for a weekend again... not that the weekends are very exciting or happening for me... yet, I look forward to it... just to get away from the hectic office life...

Not that I don't like my office... all play and no work indeed does make Jack a dull boy... and I don't intend to be one dull woman... I do enjoy working, but something seems amiss at times...

What’s amiss? I dunno...

And I've not even tried to know...

What’s the point of cribbing about something when you already know that nothing can be done about it? Why not just accept things the way they are?

Acceptance seems so lacking in today's life... people know that cribbing wouldn't change the world, and yet they do nothing but crib... they know that the truth cannot be changed, no matter how much you manipulate it, nor can it be hidden for long, no matter how hard you try. And yet, truth is the last thing that people accept...

What am I writing this for? I dunno... Does this piece make any sense? I dunno... Is this what is called wastage of time and energy? I dunno...

But what the heck - it's my time, my website and my thoughts that I'm putting down here! Why should I even think about justifying it?

Random Speak...

20th September, 2007

My office has many attractions for me, and one of them is the view that I can catch out of the window opposite my work-station...

Lush green fields... two natural lakes shimmering side by side, some yards away... and most importantly, beautiful sunsets that can be seen only from deserted places like the one where our office is situated!

Sunset of Day 1
The sunsets are different every single day... no two sunsets are the same... the hues that fill the heavens range from red to orange to pink to purple to gray to teal.... you can actually see the skies changing colours... within a matter of two or three hours, it transforms into almost a dozen different colours!!

You can also see the sun disappearing into the horizon... a rare thing, because in a Metro like Kolkata, one doesnt usually get to see the horizon... for most of us, the sun disappears behind a jungle of concrete slabs that house our fellows...

Sunset of Day 2
Just felt like sharing these pictures with you all... I truly found these sunsets amazing, and their beauty cannot really be captured on the lenses... but I still tried! I daresay, these pictures do not portray even a quarter of the beauty of the real thing – but then, something is better than nothing!!

Sunset of Day 3
Someone commented in office, that sunsets shouldn't be pictured, or watched... sunrises should be. But I think to miss something so heavenly as this is simply a sin. And the new sunset that I watch each day tells me that I am right!!

How Those Funny Office Romances Start…!

21st August, 2007 The subject of this post will perhaps never read this, but I don’t see any reason why that should hamper the object of my writing this piece! So, here I go! Some things happen in life which are least expected, and which hit you like a bolt from the blue… at times the resultant shock is unpleasant; at times, it is thrilling. And at yet other times, it is simply unexpected! My tryst with this colleague of mine falls pretty much in the third category! I took first notice of this guy when a couple of my other female colleagues were plotting his marriage with a girl somewhere, somehow known to them. The poor guy and the supposed bride were both blissfully unaware of these dark schemes, but that did not stop my colleagues from having a good laugh behind the poor guy’s back! Soon enough, however, the “poor guy” noticed that he was being the butt of some unknown joke, and quite naturally, did some grave thinking on the matter! In doing so, he took a few facts into consideration: a) the gang of females who laugh at him consists of only one girl who’s nearer to his age, b) she’s supposedly single, and c) she tries her best not to giggle so blatantly at him, and even looks a bit abashed when the others do so. And hence, he deduced that the joke must have a better half, and that the better half must relate to this particular girl (who was quite oblivious to this reasoned decision of his)! Poor, unlucky me… to be dragged into a matter where I had virtually no part to play!!! The moment, however, this glorious conclusion had been reached, I found myself being given a bit of extra attention, and tentative smiles. For the first few days, I merely looked my confusion. What had happened all of a sudden, to make me worthy of such exclusive gestures? What did I do? And then, the realization of his glorious conclusion hit me! I did not have a clue about how to convey the real situation to him. Confused and flabbergasted beyond all measures, I resorted to ignoring his tentative gestures. This time it was his turn to be confused. He had, apparently, confidently assumed his conclusions to be true. Hence my flat refusal to acknowledge his gestures confused him for a good measure – if I was interested, then why did I not show it even when he was encouraging me?! In the mean time, I tried informing my female colleagues about the plan going all awry, and before I knew what had hit me, the joke had turned on me and him! The guy, unnaturally sharp that he is in such matters, noticed me blush and look extremely abashed more than once while my colleagues were having a gala time at our cost, and his assumptions turned to belief! However, since there were no acknowledgements yet from my side, his gestures gradually reduced, and finally came to naught. But it seemed to me that our eyes were (and still are) invariably drawn to each other! On countless occasions have I spotted his eyes on me, and many a times I do take to returning the stare as well. I can’t deny that my eyes also do go looking for him, for no apparent reason! I also can’t deny the fact that I do enjoy those occasional run-in’s with him, or that I too flirt with him if I get the chance!!! Quite obviously, such things don’t go unnoticed, do they?! Especially not when there is a good measure of jokes and talk already going on in this matter! I know the two of us don’t mean a thing to each other. I’m sure we both know we aren’t right for each other. I can bet none of us are looking to start anything more than a fling. Truth is, we don’t even like each other. And the bigger truth is that at this age, we are still falling prey to “puppy loves”! If you care to analyse the episode, the whole of it actually began because the good natured humour of my colleagues instigated it! Where there was nothing, a whole story was made out and a whole new sentiment was implicated. And that made all the difference! Because people talked about us, we took notice of each other, and because we started taking notice of each other, people got talking! Now you know, my dear readers, how exactly do funny rumours start in the office, and end up becoming true stories! How ironical, ain’t it!!

Random Ramblings Again…

7th August, 2007 I have fallen into one of those bouts of depression again. And alarmingly, this has been the longest in the past few years… I behave normally with everyone, laugh and joke and do all that I’m supposed to do, and yet, a thick, dark cloud gathers in the corner of my mind… a cloud full of sparkling, shimmering tear drops… But those tears are hidden from all… because if they spill, thousands of questions will besiege me. What are these tears for? What has upset me? Which dream of mine is shattered? And I will have no answer… How do I explain the hopelessness that shrouds my mind every now and then? How do I tell them about the aimless wanderings of my heart? How do I possibly make them imagine that happiness is what is missing in my life? To the eyes of the commoner, I should be a very happy young woman! But I am not… I do not have what my heart desires the most, I cannot do what my heart tells me to do, I fail to comprehend the melody of the songs sung by my heart… I am a slave of the mundane practicalities of life… I have everything, and yet, I have nothing. And so, down my cheeks do the teardrops roll – silent, discreet, covert, afraid of bothering the world… Sometimes I long for a companion, who’ll let me cry without question… who’ll take me in his arms, and instead of wiping my tears away, will let them flow… so that the tears can finally wash away the sadness that grips my heart… Sometimes I long for a companion, who’ll not question my sadness… who’ll delve into the depths of my sadness and not into the supposed reason behind it… who’ll understand that the only way to slay the sadness in me is to make me truly happy and content… Sometimes I long for a companion, who’ll not seek to kiss away my troubles, but will help me listen to my heart, so that the troubles go away on their own… Sometimes I long for a companion who’ll give me the fulfillment of love… But such a companion doesn’t exist in this mundane world of practicalities, does he? It is but a mere shadow and a thought that I am chasing… a wild dream… Which really means that I am doomed to my sadness and tears forever… there is no escape, no ending, no silver lining to the dark clouds that gather in the corner of my mind, no bright light at the end of the dark tunnel, no first rays of the sun at dawn to look forward to after a long, lonely night… The misery will go on till it consumes me, and the long, lonely night of sorrow will never give way to the pink dawn of happiness…

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: An Experience

27th July, 2007 [Spoiler Alert: Plot Details Follow! Please don’t read if you don’t want them revealed!] When I first got my hands on the book, there seemed to be a magnetic personality inside it – I just could not take my eyes off it, and I was dying to start reading it! Once I started reading it, I could not stop! I forgot hunger, thirst, rest… I even refused to answer nature’s call! At that moment, I was irresistibly reminded of a dialogue of Ron’s in the Chamber of Secrets – there are books which are jinxed, so that once you start reading them, you just can’t stop!!! Stuck in pretty much a similar situation, I was wondering if JKR has a Magic Quill, or an Elder wand with which she jinxes her books! I finished the book in ten hours flat. I just could not stop, I could not resist. Dark, dangerous and painful – the journey I undertook with Harry was definitely not easy. Each death made my eyes sting, every turn of events made me breathless, and the various revelations through the book made me gasp. Hedwig. I never, ever thought Harry would have to lose her. The pretty snowy wise owl who’d been with him through thick and thin during all these years! She was so much a part of the journey that her absence pricked… Remus and Tonks… right after the birth of their son… leaving only young Harry to look after the child as his Godfather. That brought tears to my eyes. But, when I think, perhaps Harry will indeed be the best Godfather for Teddy Lupin – being an orphan himself, I’m sure he’ll never let Teddy feel the same way. I definitely did not think Fred Weasley would leave us all – how could the boy, the one who made all of laugh, leave us with tears in our eyes? I thought we’d seen the worst when George lost his ear… Snape. I always knew he was not with Voldemort. And somehow, it felt so unfair that he never got to prove his true loyalties. And it felt even worse to know that he died, not while saving the world from the Dark Lord, but because Voldemort did not give a damn about his followers. A small part of me was hoping Dobby would not die. It was so pathetic that no one could do a thing, and Harry just had to watch him die, in front of his eyes. So befitting that Bellatrix Lestrange got the death she deserved, after Sirius and Dobby. I was also hoping that Harry would keep the Elder wand and the Resurrection Stone… master of the Deathly Hallows, master of Death… Though he already is immortal in our hearts, yet, the fact that he would be immortal in JKR’s world was so desired… of course, when I truly analyse Harry’s character, it was highly unlikely that he’d keep them for himself. Kreacher’s transformation was so welcome! I could not believe my eyes when in the penultimate scenes, Kreacher was found to be leading the house-elves of Hogwarts in the war against the Dark Lord! And R.A.B. – somehow I always knew it’d be Regulus Black. Figured it out when I finished the Sixth Book! The Horcruxes – Slytherin’s locket, Hufflepuff’s cup, Ravenclaw’s diadem, Tom Riddle’s diary, Marvolo’s ring, Nagini and Harry – amazing, truly amazing! And the Dark Lord could not use anything of Griffindor’s, because, of course, what better thing to destroy those Horcruxes with than the sword of Godric Griffindor! How truly extraordinary, and how very JKR! She comes up with the unthinkable, and like a skilled worksman, entwines it with the unimaginative! Harry’s journey was tougher than one can imagine… but we, the ones who’ve also undertaken the journey with him, felt no less pain. With each of the characters passing away, I felt tears gather in my eyes. It was like losing a family member. When they dueled with the enemy, I felt my stomach clench as though my own loved ones were risking their lives. It was a breathtaking, painstaking seven year journey that we all undertook, JKR! Thanks for this amazing experience. Just like you, we also feel so relieved that it has ended at last, and yet, sorrow overcomes us when we contemplate a life sans Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Hermione Granger and the whole lot of them, not to mention the amazing life of rule-bending at Hogwarts! Could you please give us another series about James Harry Potter, Albus Severus Potter, Lily Harry Potter, Rose Ronald Weasley, Hugo Ronald Weasley, Teddy Remus Lupin, Sinclair Draco Malfoy and of course, Professor Neville Longbottom at Hogwarts? Please??? Just to make us feel that “all was well” indeed?