The Devil’s Snare

Tuesday, 24th Jan. ’07

I have done it! I have finally broken the ice with Manish – just some inconsequential small talk, albeit with some flirtatious hints thrown in, but yes, we have started talking!!! Or rather, I have started talking to him.

I should perhaps fill in the details about the past few days before ploughing on with the day’s events. So, here goes.

Ever since I resolved to ensnare Manish, I have been returning his flirtatious signals with signals of my own – a gaze with a naughty stare, a slight smirk with a barely concealed femme fatale shy grin! But all of these, like him, well concealed from the public eye! Quite naturally, his shocked reactions to these are not quite concealed – and people are noticing! People other than my gal pals, I mean…

But it was only actions and no talk… and without smooth talking, how could I ever get closer?! So I stayed on the lookout, meaning to break the ice with a cool, witty conversation. But my over enthusiastic colleagues got… well, over enthusiastic. They staged quite a disaster for me the other day, trying to get the two of us talking. Some weird thing about him wanting chocolates and me coincidentally having some – honest to God, it was actually that lame. Thank goodness he was equally abashed and realized that both of us had been tricked, else it would’ve been really difficult to get my footing back as the deceptive flirt!

So, I stayed put on the lookout, and finally got the chance to have our little chit chat today. He was wearing a moss green polo neck sweater, and I noticed it. And the first time we crossed each other in the lobby, I asked him with a naughty smile, “Is it that cold in Kolkata?!”

I am sure he caught on to the double meaning of my words, and blushed – but he had no ready reply for me. That disappointed me a bit. I somehow thought he’d be a smooth talker, but well… unlucky me! Or may be my attack was unexpected. Either ways, we’ll have to wait and watch!

Things have started to look up anyway… at least the phase of “ensnaring” has begun.

I have another bright idea though – it’ll do me a world of good if I get to know more about the guy. And what better way to do that than to befriend some of his department people? I will have to be on a lookout for that too – may be I will get lucky and get to charm some other eligible bachelors as well!!!

Well, well, well… the Devil is indeed at work! Wish me luck with the Devil’s Snare!

The Flirtatious Colleague!

Thursday, 11th Jan. ‘07

My colleagues are working overtime these days. In fact, I should say, their match-making brains are! And all because of a handsome young guy who has recently been deputed to our office from another branch. True to their nature, my colleagues have immediately started plotting about how best to set him up with me – because I’m the only “single-ready-to-mingle” girl in the office! Their zeal is almost embarrassing.

Manish (that’s his name) has also realized something’s going on. It was only a matter of time anyway, given the fact that my darling colleagues start sniggering and nudging me every time they see him pass by. A few days back, the buffoons created such a ruckus that he stopped in his tracks, turned around and stared at us for one whole minute, and then gave me a smirk that clearly said, “well, lady, I know what’s going on!” I can’t tell you how embarrassed I was after that!

What’s worse, he’s started flirting with me in such a way that is quite unobtrusive to others, but is very evident to me! His demeanour has changed very subtly – as if to dare me to come up and confess my feelings to him. His confidence of having gained a female fan is so strong that it evokes an equally strong desire in me to show him his true place. It’s just my “female chivalry” that’s stopping me from doing so!

But of course, nothing escapes my colleagues’ attention, so they’ve caught on. In fact, they’ve now irritated me so much that I’ve got a good mind to have a fling with him just to shut these girls up! After all, that’s what they are after – some harmless fun! And harmless fun it shall be. It’s quite evident that Manish is one helluva play boy – so, a no expectations, no commitments, just for fun relationship will be perfectly ok with him! And it will be good fun for me too – it’s been quite some time since I’ve dumped guys like him!

Say, I am actually excited now… from tomorrow, I think I really will teach Manish a lesson in flirting! He thinks he can flirt without the world knowing what a hypocrite he is?! Well, I’ll show him how to flirt, and also let the world know that he isn’t as innocent as he looks! My, my – what a nasty girl I’m going to be from tomorrow! First I’ll ensnare him, and then I’ll disillusion him – oh, what fun!!! It’s been so long since I’ve played with a guy so! Devils bless me, and God help him!!!

Christmas Getaway…

Wednesday, 26th Dec. '06

Christmas was quite merry and gay this year! We had planned a Christmas getaway to a small nearby town, just a little way outside the city, which is famous for its ancient cathedral. We – meaning the whole gang of Anu, Ayush, Sameer, Pari, Mallika, Ritika, Sandeep, Pranati, Prithvi, Sajid, Gaurav and me – left on Christmas Eve, by Anu’s Qualis. We were absolutely packed in the car, and yet it was so much fun!!! We really missed Shubhra n Abhigyan a lot – they couldn’t make it, as they had their plans with families.

It was a five hour journey, and we took turns in driving the car. The journey was dotted with many anecdotes, jokes and leg-pullings! Shortly after 11 in the night, we reached our hotel. We unloaded the luggage in the lobby, and immediately headed towards the cathedral. The midnight mass was just about to begin, and we were lucky not to miss any of it…

After singing ourselves hoarse, and listening to much Bible, we finally came back to the hotel at 2am. We had taken three 4-bedded rooms – we let Sameer & Pari share a room with Anu & Ayush, as these were the two love-struck couples in our group! Sandeep, Prithvi, Gaurav & Sajid were in another room, and the four girls, Pranati, Mallika, Ritika & I shared the third room. Once we had all carried our luggage up into our respective rooms, everyone gathered in the girls’ room for a late night chat session!!

The two love-struck couples were the first to retire, and though originally it had been decided that the boys would sleep in one room and the girls in the other, Sajid, Ritika & Mallika were so sleepy that they soon got into the boys’ room and slept off! I had had a long day at office, and sleep was tugging at my eyelids, but I still stayed awake to chat and sing with the other four… in fact, I didn’t even realize when sleep stole over me…

When I woke up last morning, I found myself sleeping with my head on Prithvi’s leg. It was small consolation for me that the others were in no better postures – Pranati had her legs across Gaurav’s chest, and Sandeep had fallen off the bed and was sleeping on the carpet below! I was the first to wake up, and the fact that I had slept all night on his leg struck me full in the face. It was quite obvious that Prithvi had not even attempted to prise me off his leg, and had slept all night in a weird posture to let me sleep in peace…

I didn’t know what to make of it… may be Prithvi was just being the gentleman that he is to all the others… or is there something else?

Relieved suddenly of the weight on his leg, Prithvi woke up quite abruptly, rubbed his eyes and sat up… realizing that I was up already, he grinned widely at me and said, “I didn’t know you were so fond of my leg! Or is it that you worship me to no end, and thought sleeping on my leg will help you achieve salvation?!”

The jocular attack was so sudden that it put all my thoughts away, and I picked up the first pillow that I could lay my hands on and threw it at him! He ducked, and then threw one at me, which missed me because I had jumped off the bed! Within seconds, we were engaged in a furious pillow fight, and the three others woke up to cheer us on!! We had to call the pillow fight off after some time though, as Sameer and Ayush had ambled in to find out if “we were all in one piece” still! That prompted me to throw the next pillow at Sameer instead, and soon all the others had also joined us, and someone suggested that we call for breakfast. That brought us right back to our surroundings, and we immediately started deciding what to call for.

I felt relieved. It didn’t matter to Prithvi, he had taken this event of the night just as a friendly thing. For him, it was one of those million things that just happen between friends. I don’t know why, but I felt relieved to think that Prithvi didn’t feel anything else… it was weird, and I asked myself why I was so relieved – but I had no answer…

The delicious smell of the pancakes, scrambled eggs and toasts wafted through my chain of thoughts, breaking it so effectively that, all thoughts forgotten, I quickly joined the others in attacking the plates with vigour. After the sumptuous breakfast, we went down to the lobby. It seemed as if we had burst into the home of a very ardent Christian! The lobby was beautifully decorated, with a model of the Virgin Mary with little Jesus, a Christmas Tree and a live Santa Claus, who promptly bounced towards us and handed a lollipop to Ritika! We all had a hearty laugh at this, and kept teasing Ritika for the entire morning about how she was still the “baby” of the group!

Though there was nothing much to see in the town, we still ambled out of the hotel and went to the Botanical Garden nearby, where we had mini picnic beside the river that flows through it. Soon after, however, some of the group started feeling bored of sitting around, so we hired a couple of motor boats and went boating. That was so enjoyable that we did not realize where time flew, and before we knew it, it was 5pm already and it was time to leave!

Having nothing better to do, we trooped into the games parlour of our hotel, and spent quite some time in there, playing pool, striker, video games and casino. Soon it was time for dinner and we went into the hotel bar-cum-restaurant, where a Christmas special dinner had been laid out! We had roast turkey, Christmas pudding and wine, and the food was amazing!

In the night, we hired a video cassette of a couple of newly released movies, and watched them in our rooms. We went to sleep after 3am, but this time we slept in our allotted rooms.

Early this morning, I woke up to the ringing of my mobile phone. Startled, I noticed that it was Prithvi calling… I answered, and Prithvi asked me if I was awake yet. I joked, “No, I’m sleep talking! Tell me, wassup?”

He laughed and asked if I wanted to see something “incredible”. I asked him what the “incredulous” thing was, but he refused to tell me, and called me to the terrace instead. Curious, I walked up there – and I indeed saw the most incredible sunrise ever! The red sun was looking like a semi-circle in the horizon, its scarlet rays reflected in the river… the birds were chirping sleepily, and the town had not yet woken up to the day… it was the most romantic scene I’ve ever watched in my life…

Prithvi and I stood side by side, watching the sky turn slowly from orange to pink to purple to light blue… I could tell that Prithvi was as conscious of our hands brushing and our nearness to each other as I was… but we steadily ignored the whisperings of the wind and slowly came back to our rooms. Without waking anyone, or letting anyone know, we slipped back into our beds, waiting for them to wake up…

Not long after that, we started back from the hotel, and six hours later, we are now all at our respective homes… and I still don’t know what to make of all of it. I don’t know why he asked me to witness the sunrise, and not the others. I don’t know why he could not break the spell of nearness up on the terrace. At times, I feel Prithvi only regards me as an especially good friend, and is quite unconcerned about any “special feelings” between us. But during this morning, and the drive back home, he was unusually quiet, especially with me. Just coincidence? I certainly hope so…

And don’t ask me why I hope so – I just don’t feel anything special, anything like “love”, for him… And if I did, I wouldn’t know how to handle it with him… It would certainly be strange, and I got the first taste of it this morning. May be he too felt the same? May be he too was quiet as he didn’t know how to handle it? I don’t know… some one help me, please…

Prithvi’s Birthday Dinner…

Tuesday, 10th Oct. '06

It was Prithvi’s birthday today, and a few of us friends went out for dinner. It was Sajid’s idea to give Prithvi a surprise birthday party – he would be made to think that he is treating us, but actually, it would be us treating him! But that didn’t appeal to us at all, so I thought of a different way of surprising Prithvi… I told all the guys and girls not to call him or wish him, and we all pretended that we’d forgotten his birthday! And then, in the afternoon, I called him to invite him to this bash I was supposedly hosting at The Boulevard, to celebrate my new job… of course, though disappointed, Prithvi agreed to come – he’s such a gentleman!

It was real, real fun to see his face when he arrived at The Boulevard! We had ordered this huge three-tier black forest cake, and we had placed it in the middle of a huge, empty table. The waiter had been instructed to take him straight to that table, and the moment he reached the table, the orchestra started playing “Happy Birthday to You”! he turned around to look at the orchestra, and bang! There we all were, playing for him!!! We were the orchestra!!! Prithvi’s face went from ashen to white to red in about a couple of minutes!

Sumptuous Chinese and Thai dishes followed the cutting of the cake, along with plenty of wine… After the dinner, we dived headlong towards the disc, and danced and danced away to glory! The dance floor simply rocked because of us, and we got Prithvi majorly embarrassed by getting the DJ to play “Happy Birthday to Prithvi” while he was at the center of the dance floor! We all danced together for a while, but then, I found somehow we had all ended up dancing in pairs! And guess who was my partner? Well, of course, it was Prithvi.

I have danced a number of times with Prithvi, but today, somehow, Mom and Dad’s suggestion kept gnawing at the back of my mind. I watched Prithvi and tried to perceive from his actions if at all he felt anything but the usual friendly affection I was used to. But I was at a loss.

The evening was good, and dancing with Prithvi was great. But somehow, I still don’t find it in me to convert it to anything else. And I definitely don’t feel anything for him. Yet.

Maybe I will just have to wait and watch.

For now, I promise myself one thing though – if Prithvi makes a move, I will not snub him and say “NO”…

A Chat with Sameer

Sunday, 24th Sept. '06

I had a strange experience today. After the discussion on my birthday with Mom n Dad about Prithvi, I was confused and lost. And you know me - I’m forever dependant on Sameer for all sorts of emotional advice! He’s the one whom I can completely trust and open myself up to… But Prithvi’s is one topic which I was quite hesitant about discussing with him… he’d always had a thing against Prithvi… But after all, Sameer is my best friend, and I know he’s the best person to talk to… he knows me inside out, and he’ll give me the best advice. So I decided to catch up with him today, and give it a shot… if he behaved normally, I thought, I’ll have a chat with him…!

So, we’d been to his favourite haunt, Indradhanush – sweets-freak that he is! After the usual exchange of “pleasantries” about how busy the other one is, and how we both ignore the other one (read, “Allegations”, “Choicest of abuses”, “Hurtful and sarcastic comments”!) we finally got talking about the thing that was eating into my peace of mind...

Sameer kinda had a hint already. He’d seen my parents conduct themselves with Prithvi, and he knew what was going on in their minds. When I confided in him about my confusion, to my great surprise, he asked me, “What’s the harm in getting married to Prithvi?”!

Honestly, I was a bit shaken up by his response. Sameer loves me. However much he tries to do deny it, I know he does. And he knows very, very well that I love him too. Sameer always had a thing against Prithvi, and despite his not-so-convincing attempts at hiding it from me, I could understand the reason behind it. Like Anu, Mallika and the rest of the gang, he also teased me about Prithvi at times, but whenever I gave a little more attention to Prithvi than to him, he’d get upset. He’d get jealous. And he’d take it out on me in small ways. And if, by any chance, I praised Prithvi for any reason, he’d go out of his way to point out all the negative points that Prithvi has!

The same guy, today, tells me to get married to Prithvi? Unbelievable! I guess I have a very good reason to be shaken!

Of course, not to let anything happen between Sameer and me was my decision. I wanted to make sure that I don’t do anything to upset Mom n Dad, and they never approved of our relationship. They had their reasons, and I’m inclined to think that they were right. Practical concerns are more pressing than immature romanticizing of life.

That however didn’t mean we’d stop loving each other. I still love him as deeply as ever. And he still loves me too; I can see it in his eyes. Sameer’s feelings for me still haven’t changed, and neither have mine. And I know that if our love has survived in our hearts for a decade, it will last us this lifetime… I know that in fact, our love has grown more beautiful than before, because our love doesn’t expect anything in return, it exists simply because we do…

But today, I realized that Sameer has indeed moved on in life! I don’t know whom to thank for this – does the credit go to Pari, for showing him that there’s more to life and that he should go on? Or should I simply thank God, for taking such good care of him, and leading him towards happiness again?

Sameer has come to terms with reality, but I perhaps still haven’t. I know nothing’s possible between the two of us, and I appreciate the fact that Sameer now has Pari to answer to… But the way he’s realized that we have to go our own different ways, in separate directions, makes me wonder...

Today, he was simply trying to tell me that it was time for me to move on too. That I too, should give myself another chance to live, may be with Prithvi… But I can’t deny that it sounded strange to my ears… I felt as if I’d lost something… When Sameer dropped me back home, I felt a strange sense of emptiness…

Sameer says Prithvi is indeed a good choice, and my parents would be happy too if it takes shape… He says I should take conscious steps towards making this work out… I understand what he says, but I can’t take it in… I can’t deny that perhaps it’s because I have not managed to move on yet that I’ve not had another relationship after Sameer. But how do I explain this to you? I just can’t find it in myself to get into something like this yet again, although there is complete acceptance of the situation…

I don’t know what name I can give to this feeling of mine… When Sameer today freed me from all romantic involvement with him, it hurt... I know it shouldn’t have, but it did… and that’s perhaps why people say, Love is Blind! And the heart does not follow logic…

My Birthday Party

Thursday, 14th Sept. '06

Hey! It’s here at last! My 24th birthday!!! Had a great, great day, with a very strange turmoil thrown into the plot… wanna tell you everything… umm, where do I start?

Let’s see… the first wish! Yeah, that’d be a nice place to start!

As usual, it was Prithvi’s! You know what he did? He called up sometime around 11-55 pm, and kept talking as if he didn’t remember a thing – and at 12-00 am, when I was getting really impatient with him, he surprised me by singing out in a loud voice: “Happy Birthday to You!” That was so, so cute of him!! Actually, he was only talking to me so that he’d be the first one to wish me! So, well, he once again outsmarted Dad and Mom… Heaven knows where he gets these new ideas every year to make sure that his wishes stand out!

Remember what he did last year?? Since he could not get through to me at night, he did not wish me all day, and wished me at 12-00 am on 15th, so that he’d be the last one to do so! He’s such a cute friend!!

Well, the second wish was that of Dad and Mom, of course! They gifted me a very, very cute gold and diamond pendant – they really know my choice!!

After that, the usual! There was a spate of calls – Anu, Mallika, Ritika, Shubhra, Pranati… and quite a few others… no surprise calls this year! Got a lot of birthday wishes through SMS too, but no surprises there as well!

Thereafter, things got a bit drab – of course, can’t exactly expect a birthday party at office, can I? Anyway, some of my colleagues and office staff did remember my special day, and made me cut a cake in the lunch-time! That was sweet…

In the evening, of course, was the much awaited dinner party! We went to my favourite place – Prateeksha! God, the poolside is so amazingly romantic! I love the ambiance… all my friends, surprisingly enough, turned up, including Sameer! He’s the busy bee of the lot, as you know, but today he’d also kept himself free! And for a change, he brought his girlfriend Pari along too! Good for him that he’s stopped denying his affair at last!

The cake was simply yummy, and so was the dinner – as usual! Got quite a few sweet and thoughtful gifts too, from my extremely impish but cute friends! Can you believe it, Anu actually gifted me a heart-shaped pendant, with place to put two pics in it – according to her, one of the pics will be of my “hubby” and the other of me! Anyway, we really enjoyed a lot!

But hey… now comes the real, juicy part! On the way back, the talk turned to how well all of us have established ourselves in our respective fields, touch-wood. Sameer and Pari in the legal profession; Anu in Interior Designing; Prithvi, Pranati and Ritika in engineering; Shubhra on her way to become an English professor very soon; Mallika in medicine… and well, I was established too, in my own field! But it was when we finally got home that Mom n Dad dropped the bombshell… they told me something that took me completely by surprise! Mom started the topic, by mentioning, yet again, how much she likes Prithvi! And then, out of the blue, she asked me, “beta, have you thought of a future with him?”

I was completely flabbergasted! Prithvi, my childhood friend? As a life-partner? I mean, yes, he’s a very good choice – he has everything I can ask for. He’s well-settled, has a great job, is cute and quite handsome, and makes sure that he takes good care of me… apart from the fact that he’s academically excellent, has a great voice, is an even better writer, can easily become the life and soul of any party… well, sorry, my Mom can go on and on and on with the list, but I have to admit that she’s right!

But all the same, Prithvi, my life-partner??? I really can’t imagine a married life with him… Mom n Dad told me to relax, because of course, Prithvi and I both had no plans to get married any time soon… so they told me to take my time and give a good thought to it, because he’s a good choice… I just could not think of giving them any answer…

I came to my room in a turmoil… Prithvi? If you ask me, I have no excuse to give for rejecting him – seeing as I’m still single, and so is he… in fact, come to think of it, why not? He’s the ideal husband, and we are great friends… Dad always says that the secret to a successful marriage lies in the compatibility quotient of the partners, and Prithvi and I gel very well…

On the other hand, I don’t, and indeed have never, thought of Prithvi in this way. I don’t ‘love’ him, and I’m pretty sure that he’s got no such feelings for me as well. Wouldn’t it be stupid to get married to a guy whom I know very well, but I don’t love?

But then, that’s what arranged marriages are all about – and they do succeed, don’t they? There are couples who get married as complete strangers, but fall in love after marriage… maybe even our relationship can work like that…

I don’t know… I’m confused, scared, anxious, and at the same time, thrilled! I’ve never experienced such an array of mixed emotions…!

At this moment, an amazing movie plot is invading my mind – Dil Chahta Hai! Remember the two diametrically opposite stories in that movie? That of Shalini’s, who did not get married to her childhood friend Rohit, because she fell in love with someone else, Akash… and that of Pooja’s, who, inspite of having a boyfriend, fell in love with Sameer, the guy whom her parents chose for her! I wonder which story will my life take after?!

Well, there’s nothing much to do except to wait and see… Will keep you posted!